We are coming to the end of breastfeeding and there are definitely mixed emotions on both ends. I'm ready to have my body be mine but I will surely miss those quiet moments where I nourished my baby boy.
It's been almost two years since I got pregnant and didn't have to worry about someone being dependent on my body for their needs. I feel like I just found out I was pregnant and now we are getting ready for Mav's first birthday next week. I knew before I even got pregnant that I wanted to breastfeed. I hoped to breastfeed for as long as we chose to but I also knew that it might not be for me.
I was a little heartbroken that our little M&M struggled to breastfeed in the beginning which I feel had a lot to do with how jaundiced he was. We pushed on and after a month, he was eating like a champ! We had another hiccup at 6 months when his dr decided he had "failure to gain" even though he was still gaining just fine. We pushed through and by his 9 month appointment he had jumped way up on the charts. Now at almost 12 months, he's eating more solid food than we ever could have imagined and he's only nursing twice a day for a few minutes at a time before he wants to get up to play.
I asked around to see what the best approach to weaning was as we made the choice to wean at 1 year. I was amazed that even after breastfeeding for a year, I was still getting shamed for wanting to wean by my own choice. Who gives anyone the right to tell another person how to feed their baby? I'm constantly hearing that "breast is best" (I believe it's none of my business how your baby gets fed) but yet even when you do what is supposedly best, you get judgement when you've decided you've had enough. Feed your baby breastmilk from the tap, from a bottle, feed your baby donated breastmilk or formula. Feed your baby in public or private, covered, uncovered, or standing on your head. None of that matters to me as long as you feed your baby with love.
Breastfeeding was a blessing to us in so many ways! I have fond memories and pictures to look back on some day. I hope to have the chance to breastfeed all of my future children. As long as my babies go to sleep with full tummies and feeling loved, I'll be happy.