Let's see, I've got to back up to a month and a half ago when my life really took a turn. For the better in my opinion! I'd been really unhappy with school for quite some time. I love working with children but I knew I didn't want to be a teacher because the age I enjoy most is newborns through about preschool. The most logical choice for me would be to work in or run a daycare center. I worked in the lab development school on campus which had infants through 5 year olds. As I've mentioned before, my mom has run a successful in-home daycare my entire life so I also got plenty of experience there. This made everything I was "learning" in class very redundant so I started to not care about class.
When I went down to visit M for his Basic Training graduation, we had a very long talk about all of this. We'd been discussing it through letters but it was hard to communicate those thoughts without being face to face. We weighed the pro's and con's for a few days and came to our decision. For the time being, I'm not going to continue with school. The goal in mind is for me to be a stay at home mom with a small photography business on the side. I'm working a little bit every day to get my photography off the ground but I'm searching for a job to help pay the bills, too. Though the option is always there for me to continue school if I'm unhappy with this choice down the road, for now it's just not the right path. I don't regret going to school because I've done a lot of growing up in the last few years and I've met a lot of good friends along the way. I just hate that I have this mountain of debt from student loans. It really makes me want to cry because many people (myself included) don't realize how much has piled up until it comes time to pay them off. Ouch! Don't even get me started how much I hate the financial aid department here at ISU, they've been worthless.
So finals week rolled around and things were pretty hectic. You see, we live in "on-campus" student housing and because M had to take a semester off, the apartment was in my name for the whole school year. I'm so grateful that God helped us find a way to make all of this work. I prayed more than I ever have in my life for help because I knew I couldn't do it on my own. M was really the only person who knew what was going on so I felt completely alone. I wasn't ready to talk about it to anyone until things were more figured out so I kept it to myself. M got into a class so he qualified for student housing and we signed a new contract under his name just two days before we were about to be kicked out of our apartment. M not having access to the internet pushed things to the last minute but we got them figured out. I'm also very thankful to the housing department for our little community (not the overall housing department, they were SO unhelpful, basically saying we were SOL..) because without their willingness to help, we never would have gotten things done on time.
I took the few finals I had and when my last final got cancelled because they overbooked the classroom, I felt overwhelmed. Unlike everyone else who was officially on Christmas break, I was throwing myself head first into the "real world" and holy crap I was scared. M came home for two weeks so I let myself act like I was on Christmas break that way I could fully enjoy our time together. To be even more honest though, I still feel like I'm on break. None of my friends are back in town yet and I haven't found my new routine yet so things haven't sunk in.
So for now, I'm sitting in my apartment pretty much 24/7 with just my dog. Let's just say that I talk to my dog way more than I probably should. You can only watch House Hunters and clean up so many times before you're utterly sick of being by yourself. Job hunting and organizing are up on my to-do list but I need some human interaction. Reach out and talk to me friends, I need more human contact haha.
|My daily life at the moment..|