Apr 19, 2013

The real me, not the internet version

I'm not a singer. I love to sing but I'm lucky if it sounds anything like the person who's singing it. I'm a horrible blogger. I love to blog but posting 5 days a week is just not possible in my world. Especially if I say I'm going to post, you can almost guarantee it won't happen. I can't follow a "diet" to save my life. Eating extra protein and 5x a day just ain't happening. I lack motivation to do anything that isn't spur of the moment. If it's something I planned ahead of time, I probably won't accomplish it for at least 2 days after it's supposed to be done. I hate the way I look most days. I can plan something out in my head but the second I make it come to life, I hate it. I have a jealous streak the size of Texas when it comes to my friends. If they're hanging out with someone else, doing something fun, or getting something new I'm probably jealous that I'm not them.  I swear worse than anyone I know, I don't even realize I'm doing it most of the time. I struggle with enjoying the stage of life I'm in. I wanted to be in college so badly, then I wanted to get married. Now all I can think about is having little babies and buying a house. I want to get into a workout routine but the second I know it's working I give up. I struggle with being the "perfect" wife I wish I could be. The one who always bakes, cooks, has time to do the laundry and dishes, rub my husband's back and do whatever he pleases. I'm good at second guessing just about every decision I make

Those are my faults, just to name a few.

You know what's harder than putting those down for the world to see? Thinking of the things I like about myself. I'm so hard on myself every day that I forget how happy I am when I love something about myself. When I look in the mirror and say wow, I look beautiful. Sadly, those moments are few and far between. 

I'm really good at smiling. I love to look at a pile of art supplies and come up with a project. I love to snuggle and obsess over my happy puppy. I'm really good at talking to kids and getting on their level. I can usually figure out what they're trying to say and I can help them if something is wrong. I'm really good at baking. I love finding recipes online and tweaking them to our tastes. I'm pretty good at taking basic ingredients, throwing them together, and creating a pretty good meal just by taste. I'm good at listening when other people need to vent, even if I have something I really need to tell others. I'm good at hiding my feelings and sucking it up if I know it means someone else will be happy because of it. I'm one to give way too many second chances, even if they aren't deserved. I try very hard to be accepting and welcoming to people who are different from me because I know we all have something to learn from others. I love to entertain people! Come over and put on a full spread! I love to go shopping and put together a full outfit or two, especially for others (even if I hardly ever buy the things I pick out). I'm usually way more concerned with how other people feel than how I do.

Me and my goddaughter. This is exactly me, in picture form
As I wrote this post I kept adding things to the negative list. That's pretty sad but it's something I want to work on. I was unsure what to post about today in wake of the horrible tragedies that have happened in our country over the past few days. I felt like an honest post about what's been on my heart was the most appropriate thing I could write at this point.

I hope everyone has a happy, peace-filled weekend! 
xoxo,
Mandy

2 comments:

  1. I hate that it's so much easier for us to think about what we don't like rather than what we do. I've been working on that myself, and sad at how I keep slipping back to the negatives.

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  2. I love this post!!! :) Way to find the positive in yourself!!!

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