Friends, I'm about to get all sappy.
Lately I've been reading way too many blogs and it's definitely made me forget what I wanted to do all of this for. I've been feeling a lot of forced posts so I've been taking a lot of breaks just so I can write about what I really like to write about.
Today I'm writing about what's on my heart and right now I'm especially thankful.
One habit that I've gotten pretty bad about lately is just focusing on what's going wrong. What consumes my thoughts some days are the things I'm stressed about, the things I haven't done that should have been done 3 days ago, so and so got this (or is having a kid) and I didn't. Yet every single day I get things that many people don't and may never have.
I found my husband and I'm now married at 19. That in itself is the biggest blessing I could have ever asked for. Being married is the same as dating yet so abso-freaking-lutely different. It is not something you can explain, only something you can experience. He let's me be the silly 5 year-old that I am at heart and laughs along with me. He handles my moody, craving filled PMS side with flying colors. He gives me back rubs every time I ask, even if I just asked 5 minutes before. Sure we fight, usually over things that are ridiculous, but I'm thankful to be in this experience with him. I can't stay overly mad at him for too long because dammit, I have things I want to tell him!
No matter how tight money is, we always find a way to get our bills paid. I'm not ashamed to say that we've had to ask our parents to loan us money to make sure things are covered. We have amazing parents but that is another post that I'm writing! The past two weeks we really struggled with money because there was a mistake in paperwork being processed and my paycheck didn't go through. I was concerned that we would have to use the money we had saved for vacation to pay for groceries and bills. However, I'm so thankful that our taxes came through ahead of schedule and now we have all this money I wasn't planning for. We had a lot of "loans" and bills that needed to be paid. A giant wave of relief came over me today when I paid off about 95% of the bills we had hanging over our heads. I don't even consider student loans in all of this, because that seems like something we'll be paying off til we die. I'm so thankful that we were fortunate enough to always find a way. Many people are not that lucky at all!
Family. We have the most amazing, supportive families I could have ever asked for. From supporting us in every way possible to just being fully accepting of what we choose to do with our lives, we have been blessed. I will be talking about this topic more when I'm not so tired/stressed/emotional but I couldn't leave them out. Family, I love you!
I'm in college. It seems like a given for most kids, high school then college. But I know that's not the case for a lot of kids and I'm so thankful (even though it's expense as hell) that I can be here. I also know a lot of people who didn't get into their dream college or who felt forced into going to a certain school. Every day I walk around campus so fully in love with the school I chose. No matter how much I hate being in class or doing homework, all I have to do is walk outside and I remember why I chose to be here. This place is so breathtakingly beautiful even on gloomy days and I feel like a lot of the students walk around, too busy to notice that. I'm thankful for this opportunity to better myself!
Although I get very selfish when it comes to friendships and often feel neglected, I have a lot of great friends! Some days I see their stress and I try my hardest to give them something to smile about. I've lost touch with some of them, I've become jealous of some of them, I've avoided some of them but I can say that I think about them every day. We all get so busy with our own lives, own thoughts, that we forget to check in and see how they're doing. Sorry friends, I'm working on it!
I'm thankful that I've been blogging but haven't really gotten into the community of blogging. I used to be so outgoing about meeting people but now I'm awful at it. Not finding that immediate in or the people who seek me out to talk has made me realize I need to be more outgoing again. It's not that hard to send an email and all the bloggers I've emailed with have been so nice! I'm one of those people who gets nervous when I try to talk to people who are older because I feel that they won't like me. I feel like the bloggers I've talked to are all older than me but not people that I should be intimidated by (especially Alexa and Ashley who I used to be so nervous to talk to but they're so sweet). I believe I can find friends through blogging that I have a lot in common with, but if they don't know I'm here then the only one who's stopping things is me.
God forgives all my sins, something that my thankfulness could never repay but I'm so thankful anyway.
To see this face daily:
and know that no matter how many times I have to leave him for work or class, he will always show me unconditional love when I come home. He'll never know how much the snuggles he gives help me get through the day but he's one of the best parts of my life.
To have my health. This is something I've taken for granted many times and I need to work on that. I have a friend who's 1 year old is battling cancer. My dad has had numerous health issues throughout his lifetime. I have cousins with diabetes and Celiac's. Yet here I am, living day to day without a worry that my future will be forever changed by my health.
So I'm going to hold myself accountable for dwelling on the positive. Pushing out the negative. It's important to learn from the past but holding onto it is just holding me back. Take time to step back at least once a day and think about what truly makes you happy!
Until next time,