Dec 27, 2012

Hard Day

Ever have that one phone call or message that just sort of throws your whole day off? Not anything major or catastrophic, just sort of puts you in a funk.

That message came for me this morning.

A message that I just wasn't ever expecting to receive. From an old friend who I haven't spoken to in almost 6 months.

Long story short, she was supposed to be a bridesmaid in my wedding. Things happened and she was no longer a bridesmaid. It was a tough decision; one that took me a long time to be okay with.

I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. A week before the wedding said friend informed me that they just found out her 1 year old daughter had a brain tumor (later discovered to be cancer). I feel maybe things went south with us when they did because God was watching out for us both. It would have been hard to have her drop out of the wedding the week before and I don't think she would have wanted to make that decision. I'm just not sure.

Today she messaged me for the first time since the original blowup.

I was shocked and not quite sure where to go from there..

Because her daughter has been going through such a struggle it was really hard for me to make the decision that I did originally. I felt it was better for me to pray my heart out from afar and not try to work through the problems between the friend and myself.

Now I'm stuck in a hard place.

I was extremely hurt by this person but I have never felt right about the situation. It was an awful decision that I had to make so I could get myself to a better place. Now that I'm there, I don't know if I can take on this friendship again.

I have forgiven her but I don't know where to go.

This may be over-sharing but I just want to ask my blog friends, would you say an extra prayer for me tonight? I'm struggling and I just need help.

xoxo, Mandy

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